Pregnancy Blues

I am the first person to admit how crazy excited we were finding out about our third pregnancy. I tried to contain my excitement, but after trying for almost a year with one failed pregnancy in the midst this felt like a miracle! I love this sweet little girl in my belly more than life itself, but this pregnancy has been anything but easy. Sickness, lightheaded, spotting, cramping, dizziness, fatigue, and having days where I simply could not function. Now I'm 24 weeks and up 30lbs. I really thought this pregnancy was going to be different... a work out nut, running almost daily, tracking my calories, and losing weight by the week

Then I got pregnant.

Burgers, fries, and pure greasiness was what kept me from vomiting basically the entire first trimester. I, like many people can not eat that way without packing on the lbs almost immediately. I have managed to level out for the last 2-3 months and have hardly gained anything, but the first 3 months more than made up for it.

And then there's sex. If you know me you know I do not speak openly about this subject. I am quite private when it comes to this matter, but this pregnancy has more than put a huge halt on our sex life. I feel like I have lost all desire to be intimate; I feel anything but sexy, and these added lbs makes me feel just plain ugly. I am so fortunate to have a husband that loves me despite my flaws and finds me beautiful no matter what, but it's so hard to be intimate when you don't even feel beautiful.

Thankfully pregnancy is not forever, and the real reward is when that sweet baby is born and we have the pleasure of laying our eyes on her beautiful face. My son has brought more joy to my life than I could have ever imagined and I can't wait for that much more love and joy to enter this world. In the mean time I will just enjoy her sweet kicks and keep in mind this is only a season. I suppose if anything this pregnancy excites me even more to be the best Alysha I have ever been... mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.